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May 6, 2020

Harriet Lerner and Brené
I’m Sorry: How To Apologize & Why It Matters

This two-episode special is based on a course that Dr. Harriet Lerner and I did together on her groundbreaking book, “Why Won’t You Apologize?: Healing Big Betrayals and Everyday Hurts.” You can expect authentic, hard conversations (and one helluva role play) about making mistakes, healing hurts, and being brave. Harriet is a friend, mentor, and teacher. Her work has shaped my career and made my life better. During a time of deep uncertainty and anxiety – when many of us have struggled to be our best selves all of the time – apologizing has never been more important.


Part 1

Part 2


Guest Info

Dr. Harriet Lerner

Harriet LernerHarriet Lerner is one of our most respected voices in the psychology of women, and the “how-tos” of navigating the swamps and quicksands of difficult relationships. She is the author of 12 books published in 35 languages. These include The New York Times bestseller The Dance of Anger, and her latest book, Why Won’t You Apologize? Healing Big Betrayals and Everyday Hurts.

Harriet did her undergraduate work at the University of Wisconsin at Madison, where she majored in psychology and East Indian studies, and spent her junior year doing independent research in Delhi, India. She received an M.A. in educational psychology from Teachers’ College of Columbia University, and a Ph.D. in clinical psychology from the City University of New York. Harriet completed her pre-doctoral internship at Mt. Zion Hospital in San Francisco and moved to Topeka, Kansas in 1972 for a two-year postdoctoral training program at the Menninger Foundation. She then joined the staff where she was a teacher and supervisor in the Karl Menninger School of Psychiatry for over two decades.

After Menninger closed shop in Topeka and moved to Houston, Harriet and her husband Steve (also a psychologist) moved to Lawrence, Kansas where they currently have a private practice. They have two grown sons, Matt and Ben.

Lerner lectures and consults nationally, while her psychotherapy practice remains at the heart of her work. Feminism and family systems theory continue to inform her writing.


Part 1 is made possible by Clif Bar & Company.

Find out more about Clif Bar & Company at clifbar.com and look for their products at your local and online grocers.


Part 2 is sponsored by Audible.

Sign up today for your free 30-day trial at audible.com/BB or text BB to 500-500

Your free 30-day membership includes your choice of one audio book and two audible originals.

The app is free and can be installed on all smartphones and tablets so you can listen across devices without losing your spot!

To learn more about the book Brené discusses in the ad, click HERE.

Show Notes

Why Won't you Apologize? by Harriet LernerWhy Won’t You Apologize?: Healing Big Betrayals and Everyday Hurts by Harriet Lerner

Renowned psychologist and bestselling author Dr. Harriet Lerner sheds new light on the two most important words in the English language, “I’m sorry,” and offers a unique perspective on the challenge of healing broken relationships and restoring trust. Dr. Lerner has been studying apologies for more than two decades, namely, why some people won’t give them. Now she offers compelling stories and solid theory that demonstrates the transformative power of making amends and what is required for healing when the damage we’ve inflicted (or received) is far from simple.

The Dance of Anger: A Woman’s Guide To Changing The Patterns Of Intimate Relationships by Harriet Lerner

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