Recently, a number of statues of famous public figures around central London gained a new companion — a baby doll expertly slung across their chests. This display was orchestrated by George Gabriel and Alex Lloyd Hunter, who enlisted the help of babywearing consultant Mel Pinet to tie baby slings on the statues of actor Gene Kelly, former Arsenal player Thierry Henry, civil engineer Isambard Kingdom Brunel, and many others. George and Alex are co-founders of The Dad Shift, an organization of men, dads, and co-parents campaigning for improved paternity leave in the United Kingdom. 

GEORGE: Women in public life are forever being asked about their lives as mothers, wives, and daughters but this is virtually never the case with male public figures. Drawing on inspiration from our experience as dads and the work of amazing groups in the women’s movement like Pregnant Then Screwed, we put slings and dolls on the statues to call attention to the role sportsmen, celebrities, and historical figures play as fathers. 

ALEX: The goal of the stunt was to highlight just how bad the UK’s paternity leave is. It’s the worst in Europe, with new dads and co-parents getting just two weeks’ leave, paid at less than half the minimum wage. Self-employed dads get nothing at all. We hoped the lighthearted visual stories we created with the statues — Thierry Henry scoring a goal with a baby strapped to his chest; a harried dad desperately hailing a taxi to get to nursery on time — would get people sharing and talking about our message. I hope the stunt made people reflect on the need for more nuance in how we portray the role of men. Society still often defines men primarily through their job and, conversely, women through family and relationships. But more and more, dads want to be present, loving, supportive caregivers to their kids too. We need space for both these things in how we think about what it means to be a man.

GEORGE: Over recent years I’ve become really concerned that despite gains for gender equality it feels like men have stopped showing up. Worse, it feels like a growing number, particularly young men, are being mobilised in an increasingly vicious backlash against efforts to build a more equal and inclusive society. Women shouldn’t shoulder the burden of making the case for greater equality alone. We believe that by mobilising men and fathers in support of issues that are obviously coalitional — to the benefit of both women and men — we can help make much needed change and start to undercut the backlash. There is a mountain of evidence that paternity leave is good for fathers, good for babies, good for mothers too. Working with the women’s movement to win a better deal for parents by getting men and fathers out for it is just the start.

ALEX: For me, this campaign isn’t about telling people the right way to parent. It’s about giving both mums and dads the chance to shape their own roles as parents, not have them dictated by their gender. To do that, we need to normalise the idea that dads can — and want to — be active, loving caregivers. One way we hope to do that is by sharing the stories of dads’ experiences around paternity leave. We’ve had hundreds of dads send their stories to us, and many say how difficult they found it going back so soon and how desperate they were to spend more time with their new baby. These stories often aren’t heard, but we need them to be.

Statue of former Arsenal player Thierry Henry in front of Emirates Stadium in London; photography courtesy of The Dad Shift.

Statue of a LIFFE (London International Financial Futures and Options Exchange) trader with two model babies slung across his chest; photography courtesy of The Dad Shift.

GEORGE: I spent a decade as a movement builder and campaigner before burning out, getting divorced, and leaving social justice work. I read Rising Strong at the time, and it made a huge impression on me. Becoming a father has provoked me deeply to think again about how to live and model my values for and in front of my daughter. It’s been a strange surprise that at the same time that I’ve been taught so clearly that there are many ways to live out your values as a father, a husband, a colleague, and a friend, that I’ve also found myself called back to campaigning again — starting as we have with paternity leave.

ALEX: For me, most of the change actually happened before I became a dad. I had a stressful job, put myself under a lot of pressure, and was constantly thinking about work during downtime. I knew I couldn’t sustain that and be the kind of dad I wanted to be. Although we have a great relationship now, my own dad’s stressful job and long hours meant that we missed out on building a close bond when I was a child, and I was determined to have that with my own son (who’s now nearly 3). So before he was born, I spent years working towards a place where I was doing less pressured work and could manage my hours to split childcare equally with my wife. I just about managed it, but we were lucky a lot of puzzle pieces fell into place to make it work. For many dads it just wouldn’t be possible, and that’s one of the reasons we need structural changes to better support families in this country. Improving paternity leave is an important part of that.

Society still often defines men primarily through their job and, conversely, women through family and relationships. But more and more, dads want to be present, loving, supportive caregivers to their kids too. We need space for both these things in how we think about what it means to be a man.

Alex Lloyd Hunter

GEORGE: I always said one of the reasons I was excited to become a dad was because of how much I thought it would teach me. I didn’t realise how much of what I’d learn would essentially be a long series of unflattering things about myself. In the first few months, despite all the books I’d read, almost everything about the actual practicalities of looking after a baby was new to me — burping, changing, soothing, feeding — you name it and I was bad at it. Being so bad at something so important was deeply unsettling and gave me such a strong understanding of why many fathers might choose to lean out of caring for their kids and simply say “She wants her mum.” It was only because of the decent paternity leave I was given and because of the loving challenge brought to me by my wife that I faced my fears of being useless and over time built the most unbelievable bond with my daughter. I’m in awe that many other dads and co-parents face these fears without the help I had, and that’s precisely why I am so committed to making sure all parents are set up with the time they need to figure out who they are going to be as a mum or dad.

ALEX: For many men, there is vulnerability in saying you want to be a loving, emotionally open caregiver, because this is still too often stereotyped as a female role. The traditional male ideal is to be strong, stoic, ambitious; men aren’t “meant” to get soppy over babies or admit sometimes they’d rather be cuddling their kids than climbing the corporate ladder. People’s attitudes have definitely changed on this; we recently did polling where 90% of dads said that fathers today want to be a bigger part of their kids’ lives. But the public narrative hasn’t caught up yet, and that’s part of what we’re trying to change. On a personal level, I think vulnerability has played an important part in how George and I work together. Four months ago, we’d never even met; now, we’re running a campaign together. To make it work, we’ve had to build a high level of trust very quickly, and I don’t think that would have been possible without allowing ourselves to be vulnerable with each other — about the past experiences that brought us to this issue, our hopes and anxieties, our limitations, and so on.

GEORGE: We want to see the massive and quiet majority of decent men and fathers stepping up for gender equality and social change. That starts by securing decent paternity leave, so we can be there for our babies, our partners, and ourselves when things are tough and changing, but it certainly doesn’t end there.

ALEX: I believe the chance to build a strong and loving bond with your child is one of the richest parts of the human experience. I want that opportunity for every parent, and better paternity leave is a key piece in that puzzle. I’m also excited at the role better paternity leave can play in narrowing the gender pay gap and moving us closer to true gender equality. But if we’re going to win progress in this area, we need more men to be speaking up and calling for change. We want The Dad Shift to give them a chance to do that.

I’m in awe that many other dads and co-parents face these fears without the help I had, and that’s precisely why I am so committed to making sure all parents are set up with the time they need to figure out who they are going to be as a mum or dad.

George Gabriel