One summer morning in 2020, after the brutal killing of George Floyd, Bonita T. Hampton Smith was meditating on her patio when she was struck with a vision: “Invite White women to write letters to Black women, and Black women to write letters to White women.” This vision became Dear White Woman, Dear Black Woman: A Tapestry of Letters for Hope and Healing, where 56 women came together to forge a path towards unity through honest dialogue.

A former chaplain for incarcerated individuals and currently the chief operating officer of The Martin Luther King, Jr. Center for Nonviolent Social Change, Bonita has spent over 20 years serving under-resourced and marginalized communities. She is also the author of Echoes of My Soul, a poetry collection, and Linzy Binzy, Around the World With Friends – First Adventure: Loving the Skin We’re In, a children’s book inspired by her niece, Lindsey.

Storytelling — honest, true storytelling — serves as a profound tool for bridging differences and fostering understanding between diverse communities. Through our stories, we not only discover our commonalities but also learn to honor and celebrate our differences. Much of what we think we know about others is shaped by our “programmed selves,” influenced by societal norms and biases. It is only when we are confronted with the truth that we are challenged to dismantle the myths and false perceptions that have been hardwired into our minds. Often, we fear what we do not know, but through the authentic experiences shared in stories, we uncover the real essence of who we are. Storytelling allows us to gain first-hand knowledge directly from the source, shedding light on the darkness of ignorance and fear. Within this light, we are empowered to rewire our brains with information conducive to healing and reconciliation. Within this light, our shared humanity is illuminated, fostering empathy, compassion, and a deeper connection.

In my own vulnerability, I must admit that I didn’t know what I didn’t know.

Dear White Woman, Dear Black Woman was an enlightening journey that deepened my understanding of vulnerability. I am forever changed by the courage of the fifty-six courageous women who entrusted me with their stories. These stories, often kept in the safe recesses of their hearts, conscience, and souls, exemplify what is possible when we remove the element of fear and choose vulnerability. These letters reaffirmed that vulnerability is not merely about exposing our wounds and fears but also about embracing the courage to share our truths, even when it feels uncomfortable. Through this process, I realized that vulnerability is a bridge that connects us on a deeply human level. It allows us to see each other beyond the surface, to honor our shared struggles, and to celebrate our unique experiences, opening the door to innerstanding, empathy, and love. In my own vulnerability, I must admit that I didn’t know what I didn’t know. I have blind spots, however, I am committed to learning, growing, and embracing new perspectives. This project has illuminated the profound need to persist in the journey of inner work. For me, this is vulnerability unfolding, and I am okay with that.

Leadership, for me, transcends the mere act of guiding others; it is fundamentally about fostering an environment where inner change is prioritized. Over fifteen years of working with diverse nonprofit leaders in training and board development, one undeniable truth has emerged: leadership is the linchpin of organizational and cultural success or failure. I often call CEOs “Chief Energy Officers,” because their energy — whether vibrant and inspiring or lackluster and disengaged — permeates the entire organization. This energy is crucial in shaping organizational culture, morale, and overall effectiveness. It is because of this experience that I remain committed to prioritizing the “leader within.” At the King Center, my work is centered on cultivating love consciousness through nonviolence, which aligns with my life’s mission of creating love-centered cultures and environments. By leading with love-consciousness, we create spaces where everyone is not only included but has a sense of belonging and care.

In our wholeness, we can create a more just, humane, compassionate, and equitable world where every child feels a profound sense of belonging. Ubuntu.

This question brings to mind a quote by Dr. King . . . “All men are caught in an inescapable network of mutuality, tied in a single garment of destiny. Whatever affects one directly, affects all indirectly. I can never be what I ought to be until you are what you ought to be, and you can never be what you ought to be until I am what I ought to be.” This profound quote by Dr. Martin Luther King Jr. encapsulates the very essence of cultivating belonging for everyone. I believe in order for us to truly understand and cultivate belonging, we must first recognize that it is a fundamental human need and then acknowledge our own intrinsic need to belong. Every person yearns to be valued, accepted, and connected. I have found myself included in spaces where my presence felt tolerated as opposed to embraced. This underscores the difference between mere inclusion and true belonging. To foster belonging, we must choose to be other-centered and other-conscious. This means creating environments where individuals feel safe to share their stories and where their voices are not only heard but respected and valued.

There is an ancient African word, “Ubuntu,” rooted in humanist African philosophy, which means “I am because we are.” This profound concept of interconnectedness reflects my greatest hope for the future of healing and connection. My hope is that we embark on a profound journey of inner work, delving deep into our souls to uncover the intricate threads of interconnectedness and interrelatedness that bind us all. Through this transformative journey, we will come to understand the beauty of our shared human tapestry and recognize that our individual well-being is inextricably linked to the well-being of others. Only by embracing our connection to the whole can we begin to bridge our divides, creating a world where every person is valued and respected and where injustice is met with zero tolerance. I firmly believe in our capacity to heal, connect, and become whole. In our wholeness, we can create a more just, humane, compassionate, and equitable world where every child feels a profound sense of belonging. Ubuntu.